How to Handle It When Another Player Criticizes Your Play

There are (or will be) times when we play pickleball that our interactions with fellow players will be less than agreeable to us. It could be a rules dispute, a misunderstanding, or, more often, another player who acts in a way that disapproves of—or is critical of—your play.

That’s the one we’re talking about today. Let’s call this player “the critic.”

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Pickleball Is Social—Which Means Personalities Collide

Pickleball is a social activity. We meet and play with lots of different people. And every one of those people has their own personality, experiences, and worldview.

So, it’s not just possible, it’s likely that at some point you’ll run across a critic on the court.

Here’s the part we can all agree on: no one likes being criticized when they play. And no one really has the right to criticize another player. Alas, it will likely come our way at some point.

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What’s Really Happening When Someone Criticizes You

When criticism shows up, here’s the first step: understand what’s happening.

Which, if we’re being honest, is nothing. Literally nothing. Except for words or behavior emanating from another person, nothing is happening.

That shift in perspective matters. Because once you see that it’s just words, you can decide how you want to deal with it.

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Your Options for Dealing with the Critic

1. Ignore It

This is perfectly fine. Sometimes silence is the strongest response.

2. Feign Polite Ignorance

A cheerful, “Oh, thank you, fine sir,” or “That’s an interesting observation,” can take the sting out without giving the critic control of the moment.

3. Confront the Critic (Not Recommended)

You can argue if you want. But ask yourself: what do you gain? Usually, you’re just stepping deeper into the critic’s world.

4. Choose Not to Play with Them

Here’s the one players often overlook—you don’t have to play with the critic. Protecting your mental wellness is more important than preserving a foursome. The critic gets to choose how they act. You get to choose how you react.  If you want to know more about this “no thank you” superpower, read this article I wrote a while back.

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A Quick Side Note: Is It Really Criticism?

Sometimes we think we’re being criticized, but it’s actually our own voice talking. We project our self-criticism onto those around us and interpret their words (or even their silence) as judgment.

Before labeling someone a critic, it’s worth asking: is this them, or is this me?

If you’d like to go deeper into that idea, check out the Pickleball Therapy podcast—it’s a topic we’ve explored there.

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Are You Acting as the Critic?

One final note—be mindful of how your words land on others. None of us want to be “the critic,” but it’s easier than we think to slip into that role.

If you want to go a step further, become an encourager. Step in when you see another player feeling criticized. Offer support. Or, with a smile, remind the critic that unless they’ve been hired as a coach, it’s not their job to offer unsolicited instruction.

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Sonder: A Word to Keep in Mind

There’s a beautiful word that applies here: sonder. It means realizing that every person you meet has a life as full and complex as your own—with their own thoughts, struggles, and stories.

Keeping sonder in mind on the pickleball court reminds us to treat others with patience and grace.

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Key Takeaways

• You will encounter a critic in pickleball—it’s part of the game.

• Criticism is just words; you get to choose how to respond.

• Ignoring, deflecting, or opting out of play are all valid strategies.

• Watch your own behavior—you may unknowingly play the role of the critic.

• Encourage and uplift others to make pickleball more welcoming for all.

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Be Well,
Tony