What happens when we focus so much on our own performance that we forget the person standing next to us? As pickleball players, we’re constantly assessing our games—technique, shot selection, strategy. But how often do we stop to consider our partner, the fourth player on the court?
In this post, I want to take you through a section from my upcoming book and an eye-opening interaction I had recently, both of which reinforce one critical idea: your partner matters, and how you treat them shapes your pickleball experience.
Why Your Partner Deserves Your Attention
There is a 100% chance your partner will make mistakes. That’s not just a probability—it’s a certainty. Missed returns, awkward shot choices, strategic blunders—it all comes with the territory.
But here’s the truth we too often forget: without your partner, there is no game.
Pickleball is not a solo endeavor. Each point you play, each rally you fight through, relies on a collaboration. When we diminish our partner through visible frustration—an eye roll, a sigh, a sarcastic comment—we’re not just harming them.
We’re diminishing ourselves and the integrity of the game we claim to love.
Three Steps to Becoming a Better Partner
1. Remember They’re There
This seems obvious, but in the fog of competition, we often zero in on ourselves. A simple practice my co-coach C.J. Johnson recommends is this: after every rally, turn toward your partner and make eye contact.
A smile or paddle tap can do wonders. It’s about re-establishing connection and reaffirming that you’re in this together.
2. Apply Empathy
Your partner, like you, is human—flawed, trying, sometimes distracted. Maybe they got bad news that morning. Maybe their confidence is shaken.
When they make a mistake, acknowledge that it’s okay. Let them know it doesn’t define the game. You’re still happy to be out there.
3. Contribute to a Positive Experience
Can you adapt your game to create a more enjoyable experience for your partner? Maybe they’re uncomfortable with poaching—so you hold back, even if it’s not optimal strategy.
This isn’t about sacrificing performance; it’s about respecting the human dynamic on the court.
In the Riff: A Real-Life Reminder
Recently, I had a rec game while traveling, and after the match, one of the players approached me complaining about their partner. They insisted they “needed a better partner” next time. I offered an alternate view: I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a bad pickleball game.
That player was so fixated on their perception of their partner’s performance that they missed the bigger picture—two people just shared a game. That deserves acknowledgment, not blame.
And here’s what struck me: the player who complained wasn’t objectively better. They were simply stuck in a mindset that lacked perspective and generosity.
Shape a Stronger Pickleball Culture
When someone opens the door to a conversation about their partner’s flaws, we can gently offer another way to see things. Not to preach, but to share what we’ve come to learn. That celebrating each other—warts and all—makes for better games, better relationships, and yes, better players.
And if you ever feel tempted to point fingers after a loss, pause. Think of your partner as part of your story on the court, not an obstacle. Playing pickleball is already a gift. Don’t let misplaced judgment sour that.
Want to get more out of your game? Download the free Prepare to Play Guide to help you mentally warm up and bring your best self to the court.
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Links Mentioned In The Podcast
→ Join us at our upcoming Better Pickleball camps
→ Check out our Upcoming Strategy Clinic
→ Find the answers to your pickleball questions
→ Smart Coaching Built for Players Over 50
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Let’s stay grounded, keep learning, and enjoy the journey of becoming better players.
—Tony Roig
Tony Roig
Hola. Hello. Konichiwa. After 40 years playing tennis, I am now a full-time pickleball player and professional. As a 5.0 rated Senior Pro Pickleball Player and an IPTPA-certified Master Teaching Professional, my focus is on helping players like you learn to play their best pickleball. In 2016, shortly after starting to play pickleball, my friend Tom and I jumped into the highest division at the first US Open in Naples, Florida. That morning it became clear just how much there is to learn in this seemingly simple sport – a lifetime of learning if you so choose. Since 2018, I have been on a mission to share my knowledge of pickleball so other players can enjoy the game at a higher level and attain their pickleball objectives. When not studying or playing pickleball, I like to travel with my other half, Jill.